Carling Zest - British Summer Bottled

Unfortunate tagline for this new product from Carling. If they want their beer to bring to mind wind-whipped trees, soggy lawns, and people clutching their winter jackets around them whilst side-stepping puddles in their optimistic summer sandals then well done Carling, you hit the nail on the head. I suppose, like the rest of us, they were hoping for sun, barbecues and the embracing of outdoor drinking in the all too short summer season. But their launch sadly coincided with the wettest, greyest summer for some time. Bad luck, Carling.

Most Disturbing Set of the Week (also known as: What were the advertisers thinking? TV's supposed to be glamorous, doncha know)

OK so this ad has been around for a while, but it always strikes me as somewhat disturbing. Just look at the Seven-style serial-killer-esque apartment they have lured and blindfolded these poor unsuspecting MOP*s into! Even that poor dog should be taken into RSPCA care for his own safety, "it shouldn't be allowed". And yet, when they remove their masks, not one of them looks fearfully around like its dawned on them that the blindfolding and tv crew thing was a bit suspicious and that they are actually starring in their own version of The Silence of The Lambs. I'd be looking around for that tell-tale stonewalled well device of Buffalo Bill's and no mistake.

 (*members of the public hahdehah).

Just for childishness that seems suitable for this ad's level, we're calling this post Farte Noire

Holy shite! Where to start with this piece of crap? I'll just start with the phrase double standard.... Mamma mia! If the roles were reversed here and blokey said, "Love, got the guys coming round in a min." And, hey presto, dowdy missus turned into supermodel stunner there would be a bloody outcry, surely? Carte Noire. you're on my shitlist.

Harvey & Rabbit

Not all adverts are rubbish. Some, in fact, are downright brilliant. There's certainly a lot of creative talent and brilliance out there in agencies and the adworld, which is why perhaps we are so scathing here at DFWMF when advertisers and their brands choose to create and transmit some downright shite. Thinkbox in 2010 gave us this endearing little beauty of an ad.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7NmOa9q5Xs

And they're back at it again with the return of the adorable Harvey and his lovable friend, Rabbit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2F0QwmkN5WI

Great ad made perfect by an amusing song from by the brilliant, prolific and under-rated  Adam Buxton* (anyone who listens to the Adam & Joe shows on Radio 6 will be familiar with Buxton and Cornish's musical compositions for the always entertaining Song Wars. Their compositions are so hilarious in their accuracy of impressions, pastiche of genres and knowing naffness). An endearing dog (who must pull on the heart strings of every dog lover out there who recognizes his imploring stare) set off by his goofy choice of beloved friend ("F-R-I-E-N-D-S. Do we really need them? Yes."), and slightly clueless yet ultimately enlightened owner. These ads capture essential Britishness and "realness" perfectly - ordinary people in unglamorous homes, our sentimentality for pets, the goofiness and uncoolness of our friend choices, the unbreakable bonds between us our loved ones, be it a dog, the missus or a stuffed toy. Yep, that's us - Norman Normal - not glam, not cool, sometimes bumbling and clueless, but ultimately an OK guy.   More ads like this, please - sweet, funny, effective - as good in 30 seconds as a very good sitcom.  And more high profile jobs for Mr Buxton's unique brilliance, please.

* The popularity of the Radio 6 show, and its following,  is substantial, and the track record of  Adam & Joe is  proven, as is Adam Buxton's versatility as a creative (actor, composer, programme-maker, etc) so, why oh why, have they not had another TV show commissioned?

Double newsflash! Vinnie Jones in something good!

Vinnie jones's latest contribution to the acting world is an advert. And its his best work in ages. The Vinster appears in typical gangster form with a couple of meathead types as his crew. Off he goes in his usual mockney banter ("shut it", "muppet", "mug", etc) with that menacing and mischevious twinkle in his eye, but this time it's different- it's for a good cause - the British Heart Foundation. It's a very well done ad - message simply and effectively got across with humour and entertainment value. Nice one, Vinnie! Let's hope a few decent agents are watching to help get that career out of its straight-to-DVD doldrums, eh? I'd propose  a role in  the newly revived Ab Fab - cast against type and utilizing that self-deprecating humour and comic touch there could be a career revival...

Newsflash: hard up pensioner star becomes rent boy

The latest in an ever increasing line up of beloved and iconic Star Wars characters being whored out to advertisers is the beloved spiritual sage Yoda for Vodafone. This is so many shades of wrong I don't even know where to begin with this one...so let's just cut to this somewhat trivial and pedantic thought - Yoda is in a sushi restaurant, the plate placed in front of him is clearly fish sushi. Surely Yoda, sage of sages, most spiritualised of the spiritual, would be vegan? Veggie at least....?

 

Yoda's choice? Mushroom and tofu  .....

 

....or Yoda's delight?  Carnivore heaven

Film Review: Shame

We like to think that it's not all moaning here at dfwmf, and not all slagging off other people's creative endeavours (however poorly conceived or executed some may be! Don't worry, those ones will still get a tongue lashing.) So here is a review of something that was more than worthwhile of feasting our eyes on and invading our brains....

If you’re thinking of taking a date to see the film Shame, you might want to think twice, though on the other hand it may leave you both feeling incredibly lucky in comparison to the film’s leads. The film reunites the actor Michael Fassbender with director Steve McQueen – an award winning combination with Hunger, and potentially, with Shame.

The film opens with Brandon Sullivan (Fassbender) naked in his apartment, ignoring a phone call from his sister, whilst we get flashback glimpses of his recent sex with a hooker. Next we see him on a train making piercing eye contact with an attractive fellow rider. She seems in no doubt as to the intention of his gaze, becomes visibly aroused and encourages his stare. He then follows her onto to the platform at her stop, but he loses her. We are beginning to get an idea of the driving forces in Brandon’s life. He likes the ladies, has no problem in attracting them it seems, but also pays for sex. But Brandon is no sleaze; he has a respectable job, dresses smartly, and does not hit on women in the shameless way that his married boss does. We discover that his work computer’s hard drive is packed with pornographic material; his home laptop is used for this purpose too.

So far, so normal, you might say, sounds like a lot of men I know, so what? But Brandon’s “normality” is called into question when his flaky sister turns up to stay. They seem to keep encountering each other in the nude, and her invasion of his privacy prevents him from his routines of sexual encounters and pornography. In one scene his sister is loudly heard to be in the throes of foreplay in Brandon’s bed with a man, and a tortured looking Brandon flees the apartment to pound the streets of New York. Brandon’s sister, Sissy, (Carey Mulligan) is younger than him, rather vulnerable and without roots it seems. She has a talent for singing, and bodily scars that hint at a past full of trauma. Is she bringing this trouble and trauma to Brandon’s controlled and rather isolated life, we wonder?

At times they seem like typical siblings, tender or teasing, but Brandon is never able to open up to Sissy, and is often unwelcoming and even hostile to her. The film gives us clues to the cause of Brandon’s inability to connect emotionally with women, and his constant need for sexual encounters. In one tortuous extended montage his quest for sexual encounters becomes reckless and desperate leading to his own shame and degradation. We wonder whether the likable yet tortured Brandon will ever escape his cycle of addiction.

Fassbender is in every scene of the movie, and is quite mesmerising, his face registering a variety of emotions, but his words never giving much away. The film is invasive of Brandon’s face and body; we see everything, his most intimate moments, yet he reveals so little with his own words or emotions we must piece together his story for ourselves with the evidence McQueen provides. It is a brave and utterly raw performance by the brilliant Fassbender that is frequently painful to watch. Mulligan is also good, Sissy’s vulnerability more visible than her brother’s. McQueen’s direction often feels clinical and cold, perhaps reflecting Brandon’s controlled, imprisoned life; there is little here to raise the spirits or warm the soul, yet Brandon and his sister still get to us, we feel for them and feel the pain of their story, wishing better for them. Maybe not a great choice for date night, but certainly a good choice if you want to see acting at its best, a sympathetic portrayal of addiction, with suggestions of what might cause such addictions, and the all too human story that sometimes bad shit happens to good people.